Reading Henri Nouwen’s “The Way of the Heart” was the beginning of moving me and my wife toward simple church. His chapter, entitled “The Compulsive Minister” provoked the start of a longing for an inner transformation. Years later, when God blasted us out of our traditional church roles, we were searching not so much for a new way to “do” church but a spiritual life that was free of the compulsiveness that Nouwen describes.
I reflect on this today because it reminds me that the heart of the matter is always inner transformation… not just a switch to a different form of church. I am also reminded that I need to continue to hold up Nouwen’s words as a mirror to my soul to keep me free of the false motivations that can still sneak up on me.
Our society is not a community radiant with the love of Christ, but a dangerous network of domination and manipulation in which we can easily get entangled and lose our soul. The basic question is whether we ministers of Jesus Christ have not already been so deeply molded by the seductive powers of our dark world that we have become blind to our own and other people’s fatal state.
Just look for a moment at our daily routine. In general, we are very busy people. We have many meetings to attend, many visits to make, many services to lead. Our calendars are filled with appointments, our days and weeks are filled with engagements, and our years filled with plans and projects. There is seldom a period in which we do not know what to do and we move through life in such a distracted way that we do not ever take the time and rest to wonder if any of the things we think, say or do are worth thinking, saying or doing. We simply go along with the many “musts” and “oughts” that have been handed on to us. People must be motivated to come to Church, youth must be entertained, money must be raised and, above all, everyone must be happy. Moreover, we ought to be on good terms with the Church and civil authorities; we ought to be liked or at least respected by a fair majority of our parishioners; we ought to move up in the ranks according to schedule; and we ought to have enough vacation and salary to live a comfortable life. Thus we are busy people just like all other busy people, rewarded with the rewards which are rewarded to busy people.
All this is simply to suggest how horrendously secular our ministerial lives tend to be. Why is this so? The answer is quite simple. Our identity, our sense of self, is at stake. Secularity is a way of being dependent on the responses of our milieu. The secular or false self is the self which is fabricated by social compulsions. “Compulsive” is indeed the best adjective for the false self. It points to the need for ongoing and increasing affirmation. Who am I? Whether I am a pianist, a businessman or a minister, what matters is how I am perceived by my world…
Nouwen goes on to suggest that solitude provides the primary furnace of transformation that can free us from the compulsions of the world by allowing us to find our true identity in an encounter with a loving God. Out of this transformation comes a ministry life based solely on compassion.
Now that would be going straight to the heart of the matter.
Comments
5 responses to “The Compulsive Minister”
I totally agree with the idea of solitude. I spent several years with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and left severely burnt-out. ( This is not a dig against YWAM, they do a lot good work.) Few years later I had the opportunity for health reasons to take time out from the normal business and busyness of life and just read and think and meditate and reflect on life and God. Crucial time in my spiritual growth, I believe.
Hi,
Interesting thoughts.
Jesus, of course, was both busy and avoided the trap of man-pleasing. While solitude (in prayer) was clearly an important feature of his life, he also seemed to be motivated by his sense of call and by compassion for people. I do agree that the performance trap is real; I’m not entirely persuaded that solitude is the only remedy.
We left the mission field only 9 months ago. We were a lot more tired than we thought we were. Hurt. Burned out. A little lost. We were naive when we left and it ended up costing us. We fell into the trap of compulsion in ministry. I think you tend to think, “If I just did this…” or “If I spent more time doing this…” Instead of “If I seek the Lord for a day, or a half-day, or a month…” on an issue. I like your comments. Now I am seeking to live a life more of contemplation and less on compulsion. But I am definitely not there.
Yes, I relate to being a Compulsive Minister and coming from 100 years of Compulsive Ministers. Praise God, we are free at last!
I am one of the “ministers” looking for a way out. I have been burned out for years desiring the early days when I was a volunteer at my church serving teenagers. Those days were filled with a passion to minister to teenagers (had teens in our home most every day). Now at 50+ years old I am seeking the door that leads to freedom from church. Our church is a good church full of good people-we would be considered part of the “emerging” movement, but the expectations of the staff and church are the same. I am captured by the works of Neil Cole and others with the idea of simple church. For me, solitude is necessary, but not the answer in totality. Solitude helps me get to the place where, at the end of the day, I can say, today I served Christ with all my heart, soul, mind and strength!