Spent the evening with a friend who was involved in a tragic car accident. He escaped with little injury but one of the occupants of the other vehicle was killed. What’s worse, my friend may have been responsible for the accident.
It was, in fact, an accident but a mistake may have been made. A moment of carelessness that is now being paid for with an incredibly large load of guilt and what-ifs.
What do you say? All words sound like cliches and meaningless talk.
He’s feeling things that he is going to have to feel as he wades through the shock, the denial, the pain, the guilt, and hopefully a healing. Words seem so useless. I was there for him. I will continue to be there for him. I want to fix him, but it’s not in my power. I can only walk alongside him and try to be a support. I can do my best to hold him up whenever he starts to teeter into the chasms of hopelessness, self-destructiveness, or overbearing shame.
Please don’t tell me how God will use all of these things for good. Not today. He doesn’t want to hear about it today. It will do him no good today (maybe later). Therefore I don’t want to hear it today. Sometimes all we can do for someone is to stand with them in their very real and very painful reality.
Comments
One response to “Standing With Others In Painful Reality”
I think we might underestimate the need have someone who can come alongside one in pain or mourning or ?????. I think it is a valuable gift to that person in need…he is lucky to have someone he feels safe with.
Some people can not be that person for the person in need…it takes maturity and a real listening heart…which you truly have.
I had resent experiences at school with two young students who lost their fathers. The young students did not know how to come along side and “weep with them”, in fact they actually avoided them like the plague , probably because they thought they had to say all the right things and had no idea what that might be. In my maturity i had learned they needed someone just to listen, and I most certainly didn’t have the “right words” but words were not really needed.
We all hope we have just the right listening person when we are in need.